Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Husband in Chastity's LiveJournal:

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Friday, April 15th, 2005
9:34 pm	Status Report 1. My wife and I met with a wonderful Domme/sadist last week. My wife gave her permission to play with me. Even though I got a warm hug and a nice email from the Domme, I've not heard from her for a week. I guess I'll have to grovel! One special moment: the lights went out for about a minute and the intensely shining face of the Domme looked intensely feline. 2. Using only her fingernails digging into my skin to get me moving and a dildo strapped on me to keep me properly horny, my wife took her pleasure quite vigorously last night. I was proud of the little scabs all over me today. 3. Her lover seems to be petering out. A pity. She has enjoyed her trysts quite a lot. I don't know if she will get another or not. 4. It is paddling season. I'm venturing out on the big cold lake this weekend. Hopefully I will have company, because a spill in this water could be dangerously refreshing. 5. The Spring hormonal surge hasn't hit her yet. Much of her energy is devoted to a new professional venture. 6. Am still in voluntary chastity. It's become second nature to channel that energy into various physical activities and lots of sensual daydreams. (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, March 17th, 2005
9:13 pm	Another My wife has often said "you should find yourself a Domme" so I posted my profile on CollarMe.com and got a hit from a Domme who claims extensive experience. She has corresponded and chatted with my wife and the three of us plan to get together and get acquainted. If my wife is okay with the Domme then it looks like I might be in for some serious training. The Domme is a few years older than me, an expected turn-on for me. She is tall and regal. My wife says she is level-headed and focused. Good. If things click there will be a few rules. First and foremost I will never be allowed an orgasm when playing with/serving the Domme. I'm to devote myself to giving pleasure, be it through service or by offering myself up as a BDSM plaything for her. It's way to soon to make any predictions whether this will work out, but I like the direction so far. (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, March 7th, 2005
8:41 pm	Intensity & Stability My wife and I had a free evening so we cooked a wonderful paella and then visited a local BDSM club. She wore a body suit with just a leather wrap for a "skirt" and was incredibly hot. At the club we sat on a couch and watched the folks stroll by. We observed a couple of scenes, chatting about relationships and the ethics/etiology of BDSM all the while. She realized that she does not like the intensity of BDSM experiences because she has an innate fear that such intense experiences would cause her to lose her sanity. I realized that I like intense experiences in my life precisely to help me keep my sanity. We either are well matched or so mismatched that we might as well be well matched. All is well. (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, February 28th, 2005
9:11 pm	Squeezed Out Ah my. Instead of my dream scenario she let me pleasure her orally for an extended period, which was a rare treat. Then, she pulled me up and started playing with my nipples while keeping her legs shut tight. She pressed into me and I into her and all of the sudden the orgasm came. I saw sparks and she laughed with delight. By the "Birthday Jar" I had two more weeks of "chastity" to go. But who's counting. We kissed and cooed and cuddled. All was right with the world for a blessed moment. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, February 26th, 2005
8:01 pm	Back Door Man I'm really in the mood to have her take me up my behind with her strap-on. The quandary is how to get her interested without succumbing to whining or a pouty top from below attitude. Maybe I should just get her a stiff drink while I take a bath and prepare myself. Then I will just ask her to "do me." I have a vision of a missionary position so I can hold and caress her while she screws me silly. I'll bind my cock so there will be no "accidents." (Comment on this)
Tuesday, February 22nd, 2005
8:05 pm	Massage Last night I whisked my wife out of her bath to bed, where I gave her a great massage. Just as she rolled over to sleep I kissed her and she came alive, taking an orgasm or two from my cock and then having me give her a few more with my fingers inside her. She could tell that I was "into" the massage and asked how my current state of sexual "deprivation" affected my interaction with her. I told her that I wasn't in a state of deprivation. Rather, I have been distributing sexual energy not released through ejaculation to other parts of my body. My hands, for example, seem so much more sensitive. They seem to bond with her skin in a way that they never did before. Touching her is so satisfying. I hope (and believe) that she can feel the renewed energy flowing out of me these days. I also told her that helping her to many orgasms while I go relatively long periods without them feed into my natural submissiveness toward women. It is a way for me to express my submissiveness without forcing her to become the domestic dominatrix, a role that she has no interest in playing. She seemed to like these trains of thought and we went to sleep happy. (Comment on this)
Saturday, February 19th, 2005
9:02 pm	Just a Normal Day I've been without an orgasm for about a month now, but who's counting. This morning my wife played with my nipples and got me all hot and bothered. I reciprocated with desperate kisses and caresses. She took my cock deep inside her and squeezed out a nice orgasm without sending me over the edge. I used my tongue on her nether regions to keep her pleasantly warm, while my cock hung down swollen with lust beneath my up-swept ass. My son and I departed soon after breakfast for one of our excursions, this time to a science center. My wife then entertained her lover. We arrived back home to find her languid and happy. She welcomed up home warmly and whispered to me that she had had lots of orgasms with her lover. All of us took naps and then we reassembled for supper. Just a typical day for a poly, chastity, fem dom household. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, February 18th, 2005
8:45 pm	Oh Spring. We're waiting for Spring. My wife's libido has powered down after an intense summer and fall. I've been suffering from a bad cold and am a big, snotty mess. We know from our years together that come Spring our sexual heat will return and flower. But its February, by a big cold lake in the upper Midwest. Seems like it will be forever until that happy time comes. (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, February 13th, 2005
4:24 pm	Drone Yesterday was a full day. Went out on a paddle in the morning. The miles and hours flew by. Then the three of us went to a museum. From there my wife and I dropped my son at a dance party, his first. As this was a group of 9-10 year old kids, I was a bit taken aback by the implications of adulthood, or at least adolescence. However, once we arrived we discovered that "dance" was a fancy name for kids games played to music. No dark corners. No heavy petting. There will be plenty of time for that. After that I went solo to a concert of electronic music by Phill Nimblock. Two hours of drone (good) in a greatly overheated performance space (bad) accompanied by video images of Asian folks working (lots of fish guts). Too bad the environment got in the way of the music, which was fine. From there I went to the Galleria. I met a merchant marine with his comely slave at his feet. We talked navigation and changes in maritime technology. Observed a very hot wax scene, a biker-type guy being flogged bloody, and the most beautiful Mistress taking her time with her sub. I must get to know her. By 1:30 a.m. I was tired and flopped into bed. Today started six hours later and continues through a trip planning meeting with my local kayak club this evening. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, February 11th, 2005
9:15 pm	Motion Had a conversation recently with the minister of our Unitarian-Universalist church. I've been having difficulty with her leadership of the church. She is taking us in a more "spiritual" direction, with more "god talk" and the like. Especially since the November 2 election, which brought us all that much closer to an American theocracy, I've been trending in the other direction. In my opinion, the religious reaction we are seeing in this country makes the rational plain-seeing, plain-thinking and plain-speaking approach to life and politics all that more precious. While I acknowledge her hard work and her efforts to be open to the secularists remaining in the congregation, I'm not convinced that Unitarians are well-served by adopting an ersatz Protestant-style religiosity. In our conversation I mentioned that I got more spiritual sustenance from kayaking than from her sermons on the spiritual life. She said that I had a "kinesthetic spirituality." I like the term and it certainly fits. Today I walked almost 10 miles along the lakefront on a bright winter's day. For the duration I was out of time and out of mind. It was movement and breathing. It was the vivid images of the lake, the sun-dappled feathers of the geese, and the last ice floes of the season dancing on the waves. I was alone and I was full. When I was growing up I was fascinated by the photos of atomic particles whizzing around in weird patterns. Plot the travels of a million people today. Add the trains of their thoughts. You will get a similar pattern. Equally beautiful and equally ephemeral. (Comment on this)
Monday, February 7th, 2005
7:43 pm	Birthday Jar I recently celebrated my birthday. One of my gifts was the following: I put pieces of paper in a jar. Each piece of paper had a number, representing one of my years. My wife tied my hands behind my back and a blindfold over my eyes. She then gave me time to "worship" her with my lips and tongue, slowly and all over. After a was thoroughly intoxicated with her, she reached for the jar and pulled out a piece of paper. The number on the paper is the number of days that I have to go before being eligible for an ejaculatory orgasm. From her giggle I have a feeling that I have a long dry spell ahead. I think we will use the birthday jar for other such things. The randomness of the numbers adds a nice edge to our play. (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, February 5th, 2005
8:44 am	Sabbatical Over I'm back. I signed off seven months ago, having resolved to stop living the "inauthentic" D/s template with my wife. We resolved to take some time to relate to each other without the overlay of "chastity," power play, and the like. Guess what? We were bored silly. By the Christmas holidays our erotic/romantic connection was at low ebb. Fortunately, our communication link was strong and her underlying erotic energy was high, stoked by her continuing bondage play. So I've gave her two "gifts": control over the timing and nature of my orgasms and a continued release of her vow of fidelity. Our love life perked up immediately and we both feel much better now. This morning I stroked her and she used my cock for three strong orgasms. Then I rubbed her all over with oil and kissed her feet while she lay sprawled across the sheets. Tonight we're hosting a dinner party and I finally meet her lover. This after a day spent kayaking. Perfect! Sometimes it is good to deny your nature and sometimes it is just a waste of time. And sometimes you can learn from such a waste of time--don't deny your erotic nature. Eros is too strong. (8 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, August 17th, 2004
9:11 pm	Endings/Beginnings I've been posting in this area for over a year, providing an account of the D/s experiment that my wife and I were undertaking. I've learned so much from trolling though your postings and from putting my thoughts on "paper." However, the D/s dynamic that did so much for our marriage no longer is operational. Yet, our relationship is stronger than it has ever been. What precipitated the change was final act in the D/s dynamic, namely, my encouraging and assisting my wife in exploring her erotic interests with others. She's now got a lover and we laying the foundation poly marriage. I'm toying with the idea of dating myself (once kayak season is over and I hang my long, sleek, slender hipped mistress up for the last time this year.) These changes prompted lots of self-examination and reflection. We both decided it was time to leave the D/s template behind. Of course, I believe that I will remain wired "submissive" and she will remain fundamentally uninterested in power/pain play. I do believe, however, that adults can will themselves to move beyond their differences and build on what they have in common. I believe that we can remake ourselves in significant ways. In our case there is a strong sense that we were made to love each other, a commitment as responsible adults to have an intact family, and a smoldering physical attraction upon which we can build. Consequently, I'm going to abandon my "Husband in Chastity" LJ identity and adopt a new identity not yet known but more in keeping with my current circumstances. If that identity change causes me to lose you all as friends, I'll find you. In the meantime, thanks for all your insights and supportive comments. Embrace change. (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, July 23rd, 2004
9:42 pm	Sedimentary That's not "sedentary." Last night I paddled 12 miles in 3 hours on the open lake, a respectable pace. By "sedimentary" I refer to a mental exercise I've started. Each day I write down a "layer" of a possible template for a new (and improved) relationship with my wife. She reads them with the understanding that the draft template won't be complete until all the layers have been laid out. Our expectation is that she will reciprocate with her vision of how she would like things to work between us going forward. Thus far, this process of creation is working well for both of us. I've focused on issues such as orgasm control, each of our bodies, and, today, romance. In the meantime, we live well together. We have a passionate life in the midst of multiple worldy obligations. She is continuing to see her lover, but that engagement seems far less threatening that it did when it first popped up. In fact, she is sleeping off the effects of what I'm sure was a vigorous session with him this afternoon (plus a short night last night and a bad cold). I continue to spend lots of time with my mistress: a long, sleek 17 foot creature with narrow (24 inch) hips that cuts though the waves like Halle Berry would cut through a crowd in her cat woman suit. (Comment on this)
Sunday, July 18th, 2004
5:48 pm	Fidelity in a pill There is an article in today's New York TImes Magazine about the possibility of a genetically-engineered "cure" for the non-monogamous instinct in men. In discussing the pros and cons, the author quoted his Mormon bishop, who said that we should welcome temptation because it gives us the opportunity to make heroic sacrifices in order to resist that temptation. My wife asked what I thought of the article. I said this was the one time I agree with the Mormons. Then I described to her some turn-on scenarios for me. These included being allowed to make love with others, but with the proviso that I not have an orgasm. This has been a strong fantasy of mine--providing pleasure to a lovely woman (or man) but being denied the right to have an orgasm with anyone but my wife. I find that orgasm denial causes one to be unusually alert during lovemaking, pushing oneself to the limit in order to give pleasure to your partner without having an orgasm oneself. Sometimes I think that this may have a distancing effect, because of the energy and caution it takes in keeping one from going over the proverbial edge. Yet, I find that the process makes me more alert to the sounds and movements of my partner. There is a certain clarity of erotic vision that comes when one holds back and focuses on another's pleasure. I also think that orgasm denial can lead to a reverse power play, where the person who is in the regime of orgasm denial manipulates the lovemaking in order to avoid the kinds of activities that are most likely to make them have an orgasm and that may be of most interest to their lover. My wife deals with that by sometimes squeezing an orgasm out of me involuntarily, i.e., without giving me permission to cum. This process presents me with a real dilemma, which she seems to enjoy. In addition, the timing of my orgasms are completely up to her. I don't beg and generally she doesn't ask how long it has been. (Comment on this)
5:35 pm	Riding Waves I challenged myself on the big lake this weekend in my kayak (my mistress according to my wife). Conditions were somewhat challenging for me. Waves were 2-4 feet and there was a stiff wind from the north. Conditions were rough enough to keep down the obnoxious speedboat traffic. The water is was warm as it is going to get this summer, about 70 degrees. On Saturday I paddled north about 7 miles, landed on a pocket beach for an early lunch, and then surfed back to the put-in site. Today, I paddled north for over an hour and then rode the waves back. I made it to church just in time. I was quite comfortable--although very alert-- on the lake, even when large waves came at me from multiple directions and crashed into me. I'm getting more accomplished as a paddler or more foolish--or both. This afternoon my wife and I adjourned for a "nap." I was very tired from the exertion of paddling. She was quite horny. So my cock got employed to help bring her to multiple orgasms, while I was comfortably "chaste," just this side of an orgasm. The soft summer breeze cooled our bodies as they coiled and uncoiled. I think we are going to return to the regime of orgasm control. Perhaps we will look for a Fed Dom couple who is a bit more hard-core D/s than we are. That way I can get put through the paces and she will have two new people to play with. Her current secondary interest seems to be petering out, so it time to move in another direction. In the meantime, we seem to be keeping each other very happy. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, July 15th, 2004
9:14 pm	Get to it! It's 45 minutes from my bedtime. My wife is downstairs pounding out an erotic story on her iBook. She's been writing erotic stories with a bondage theme (no surprises there) and then posting them for her lover and I. She's got her feet propped up. I'm upstairs on my Powerbook having scrolled my way through Live Journal. I can either go from there and start surfing or I can go down and wipe her feet and then massage and oil them for the next half hour. See ya! This man knows his place! (Comment on this)
Tuesday, July 13th, 2004
5:32 am	Tent & Cocoons We live in a neighborhood where most of the buildings have air conditioning. We've held out, enjoying the sounds and fresh air through the open windows in the summer, although we do suffer a bit when the temperature hits 90 degrees. Recently, my wife and I took advantage of the privacy that comes from having our neighbors ensconced in their air-conditioned cocoons. As the sun set we scurried up the ladder to the deck over our garage. We have a tent up there and my wife has always wanted to make love up there. I surprised her this night by suggesting we do so. Well, the lovemaking was vigorous and oh so just right. There were a few sprinkles, which prompted my wife to zip outside the tent in her birthday suit to fix a loose flap. Her loveliness outlined by the evening light was so inspiring. She was rather vocal, but who was out to hear except the junk men, whose clangy carts we could hear 100 yards away. I'll take tents over cocoons any day. (Comment on this)
Sunday, July 11th, 2004
4:12 pm	Where Am I? Whew. Sermon over (see previous post). Work going well. Kayaking in high gear. D/s template on summer vacation. Or is it? I find myself drifting back to Elise Sutton's website, which focuses on loving Fem Dom relationships. Last night and this morning I pleasured my wife (so lovely this summer) to several orgasms without taking--or being given--an orgasm myself. She has been writing me what she does and doesn't like about the D/s template. I think that she would be very receptive to its active resumption. She has settled down with the lover and a friend with benefits, so we are adding a polyamorous overlay to our marriage. I've come back from the West Coast remarkably cleansed of doubts, jealousy, etc. about her amorous adventures. We've shared some wonderfully tender and loving moments together since I've returned. It is evident that she does not want a relationship where she is forcing me to do things or is "in charge" of me. Based on her background and the struggles of her parents to escape our racial caste system she is not comfortable with having a "servant." Yet, she enjoys the pleasures and prerogatives that come from being a "Queen." I think I understand this and am tinkering with the template in my mind. I am tying to find a way to salvage the erotic charge I get from serving a strong woman with her lack of interest in having a servant/slave for a husband. I think the answer will lie in just doing what I did before to serve and give her pleasure without trying to be her slave/servant. At some point the D/s template will lose all semblance of D/s, but I think that there is a mutually happy zone just short of that line. (Comment on this)
3:58 pm	Old Testament Preachin" Our Unitarian-Universal church has a long tradition of lay-led services. The past three summers I've been asked to preach a sermon and today was this year's edition. I planned the sermon months ago to give a voice to a member of the church who has been a long and tireless and quite cranky advocate for the rights of animals. He never got it together to do a sermon so I thought that I would examine the issue, separating the message from the messenger. I never anticipated where this engagement with a prophetic voice would lead me, a life-long carnivore. My sermon advocated that we stop killing animals for fun, food and profit. The sermon was very well received. I even got a spontaneous round of applause at the end, which is a rare compliment in our church. And I have been following a vegetarian diet the past few months. I've learned from the experience that there are prophetic voices among us every day. Listening and engaging these voices can change us profoundly. I'm happy to send a copy of the sermon to anyone who requests one. (Comment on this)